Yep. It’s been a while.
J is skinnier than ever.
It’s downright unhealthy, how unfit she is. Or so she thinks.
The work- outs are mired deep in post- baby- new- move-pre- work- travel stuff…
She runs one day. Then forgets to even think about getting into her trainers for the next two.
She is sore one day. And then does not do anything for three days.
So, when she does run the next time, she is sore again.
The more she tries, the less she seems to achieve.
The proverbial “trying to grip sand tight” situation.
Two Decembers ago, Dr J was running four days a week, weight- training every weekend and playing badminton once or twice.
And standing in the OR for hours on end, every day.
She was at her busiest, yet fittest.
Where is that girl/ woman?
What happened to her?
She let life dictate terms.
She let situations and circumstance steer her actions, rather than the other way around.
It is so easy to give up. To give in.
The Loser’s Corner is a cosy place. Quiet. Competition- less. Almost comforting.
The Achiever has to constantly better herself. Fight harder. Day in. Day out.
And looking back only makes things that much harder.
50 push- ups? Really? Isn’t that memory playing tricks on you?
Alas, how quickly things change. Deteriorate.
This was last night’s entry. Random !@#$ that spews out of my brain, oh so often.
So, this Exercise Conundrum was gnawing at me.
It had always been a part of my life that I did not have to work hard for. In terms of mental hard work.
I woke up and ran. It was as simple as that. And I thought, it would always be that simple.
Things usually go downhill the minute you start to take it for granted.
A pragmatic, simple minded person would scoff at my whining.
Someone like Mr H. He sees things simple. A problem needs a solution. Nothing more.
For for the person with a twisted, garbled mind, things are never quite that simple 🙂
Many may tell me to join a gym or get into a structured work- out routine.
Nope. My current, erratic life does not afford such luxuries.
I have parks to run. Music. Running shoes. Winter gear.
I also have an exercise- bike, some weights and resistance bands and a yoga mat.
And I love to dance.
So,I formulated an anywhere, anytime routine two nights ago, while in the throes of exhaustion and sleep deprivation.
Customized. Simple. A plan for J.
I intend to get back into half- marathon fitness, in 6 weeks or less.
I was supposed to get up and run today.
But I had a rough night and woke up late, and had to prep for a case in the morning.
This is where I get pissed at myself, curse my “laziness” and become moody and irritable for the rest of the day.
On a whim, I got up on the exercise bike while I flipped through some notes. After a while, I ditched the book and cranked up the resistance and did about half an hour of cycling.
14 km. Not bad.
Not bad at all.
Zoe woke up. A heart-string-tugging smile and bemused expression on her angelic face.
She loves getting up on Papa’s shoulder and watch the world go by.
I whisked her on to my shoulders. And did 50 squats.
Every time I dipped, she giggled merrily. The unrestrained glee egged me on.
Then we did some lunges. Actually I did the lunges (with weights) and Zoe fiddled with the resistance band and got all entangled in it.
She watched with fascination as I did some leg lifts next.
We ended out work- out with the plank and some stretching.
I did not realize the time or the reps go by. One hour.
Took a super- quick, “functional- shower” (bath-time is another luxury) and got the little one ready.
And off I went to work.
As I drove to work, my legs felt tingly and wired. I love that feeling. The feeling of slightly achy, excited muscles.
Without planning to, I ended up having a “leg- day”.
Motherhood has taught me to choose my battles in life. To let go of trivial matters. To resist being a control freak.
To give in, a teeny- tiny bit!
Lean in to life.
Bowing to life doesn’t make one a loser. Life gives you some much more. You some times have to just stopping fighting.
Ugh, this is starting to sound like one of those pretentious self- help books that I so despise. My apologies!
This is a reminder to myself. A self- lesson.
The pre- baby abs can wait. The marathon can be run anytime. Clothes may fit as they wish. People can call me skinny as much as they want.
I don’t care really. For now. (My mind is a fickle fiend!)
Let’s all remind ourselves to live in the moment. And stop fighting ourselves so much.
Life is after all very short.
I feel like I have lived more than half of mine already!
Till next time…