Ma Wednesday- Liking the dislikes.

Everybody talks of the beauty of being a parent. Many also share their challenges and hardships. But not often do we hear about disliking being a parent. Is it unkind, ungrateful and blasphemous to admit that I sometimes hate being a parent.

Yes, hate. I often say to people how hate is such a strong word. I try to use the term dislike in many places where I’d probably use hate, more out of frustration and being caught up in the moment. But yes, in this instance; I would use the word HATE.

I hate being ‘not in control’.

I despise being or feeling so utterly vulnerable.

I am not fond of being so fond of something that I have to spend every waking moment (and probably my sleeping ones too) worrying about it.

Being an emotional wreck, is not something I look forward to. The soul stirring, earth- shattering sort of love is not my cup of tea.

Having to be answerable to the upbringing, life and times of another human being; when I can barely manage my own, is difficult to cope with even on the best of days.

Planning weeks ahead, so that I can have one spare, unplanned moment to cherish is a bloody, darned pain.

Going against every evolutionary/ instinctive grain, and putting my wishes and needs last, at the very the bottom; sucks.

Being on call- 24/7, every day of the year, for the rest of your life… well, that is a binding clause in the parenting contract.

Making do, hoping for the best, leaving things to destiny/ God/ fate/ the universe is not my style.

Not knowing the the outcome, of all your back- breaking, nerve- wracking efforts is beyond horrid.

Being helpless, when another being’s pain is felt deep within yourself, magnified a hundred times, while you stand there watching; powerless and dejected, is an exercise in misery.

Ugh! I sometimes truly hate being a parent, and I ain’t the mum of a teenager yet!

And yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Till next time..

Dr J.

2 thoughts on “Ma Wednesday- Liking the dislikes.

  1. Oh wow, thank you for this! Yes, yes and yes! Especially the not being in control bit. Our LO both had a difficult start and it was the hardest I have done to date. Feeling so vulnerable, out of control, at the mercy of the doctors, in a foreign country (living in the UAE)… Nice to know I’m not the only one who feels like this!

    1. I could have gone on for pages, but did not want to sound too whiny! Amazing how every trouble and misery dullens when you know there are others suffering similarly 🙂

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