I often speak about chaos and the everyday mundanity of life. About troubles and banes. About the insanity of new motherhood and the accompanying weight of responsibility. I often unburden myself here on the blog and use it as a portal to bemoan my troubles, at the expense of you lovely folks.
Venting troubles online can be cathartic at times, but today I do not wish to whine, vent, crib or complain. I would like to do the contrary in fact.
After a crazy week (nothing new there!) and a hectic “call” yesterday, I sit here; at a random beach. With a belly full of greasy but tasty takeaway food, a neither hot nor cool breeze at my nape, an unreliable but super- swift 4G data connection, a sand crusted baby and a comatose (food- induced sleep coma to be precise) husband – I’m forced to admit that I’m content. Dare I say- happy.
The sea has always been my Shangri- la. Even as a young child, I loved the sea apparently. Maybe The Little One takes after me, as she too finds the beach to be an instant mood- lifter/ tantrum- crusher.
I digress. Apologies for the disconnected trains of thought. This isn’t a systematic, planned, censored post.
Yes. There is something in the saliferous sea- breeze, that calms my senses and soothes my frayed nerves. As the sun gently descends into the horizon, and the eerie blue of the sky and the sea become one, instead of mourning the end of another day I’m encompassed with a feeling of unguarded optimism and unwary hope. For a progeny seemingly begotten by the enjoining of negativity and pessimism, these feelings are both rare and novel. I shall hold on to them for as long as possible and cherish the warmth they provide, and hope they melt some of the icicles within.
Winter is at Qatar’s doorstep. It means the inexorable heat will finally relent and yield to some glorious evenings and nippy mornings. The flowers at the medians shall bloom (with some help from the hard-working “immigrant” gardeners) and the seas shall change their hue. The days will become surprisingly shorter (I type this in almost complete darkness at 1720 hours) and the taps shall finally run some cool water.
Already, I have stopped dreading the tread from the parking lot to the air-conditioned lobby of the hospital. Thanks to the fact that I don’t drench my shirt by the time I get there anymore. Dawn is delayed, and the harsh sun is still hours away, as I walk into the wards in semi- darkness at the wee hours of the morn.
Having the window down in the car is no longer unimaginable. A gratifying day in the OR or a hectic call-day now ends with a car- ride home; Sia belting harsh truths or John Legend crooning sweet nothings with the wind in my hair. Thoughts of being pummelled by a boisterous, delighted- to-see-me, little person as I step though the door topmost on my mind and pulling my visage into a perennial smile.
The glorious morning runs..
It must be the change in winds, or the cyclical inner calm in my head.
Aah, how I look forward to the coming months!
I plan to utilise and enjoy every such day, and I vow to whine a little less.
On that cheery note, here’s wishing all you folks a lovely weekend. And for those in this part of the world, hope you have a great week ahead.
Nite nite (as The Little One likes to say) folks!
Till next time.